Do you remember in the movie Jerry Maguire when Tom Cruise says the line“You complete me”? I am sure this line has been said many times by both men and women after that movie. This movie may be before some of your time. If you have not seen the movie you can catch it on iTunes or Netflix. It is worth the time to watch. There are some good life and business lessons in the movie.
Can a spouse complete another spouse? The answer is a resounding no. If you are expecting another person to complete you then you are certainly headed down a path to be extremely disappointed. God is the only one that can complete you.
One of my favorite Christian music groups, Casting Crowns has a song called Broken Together. You can watch the video here. There is a line in the song, “The only way to last forever is to be broken together.” We are broken. We have been broken since Adam and Eve and original sin. It impossible for another person to complete their spouse because we are truly broken.
Many married couples that I have talked to think that you get married to this person you are deeply in love with and everything is going to be happily ever after. Unfortunately marriage does not work this way. It is hard at times.
Marriage is a give and take. It is not a 50/50 deal. Sometimes it can even be a 100/0 deal. I think this is why so many marriages end in divorce. Many people expect the relationship to be 50/50 and when it becomes something different we tend to think things are not working the way we planned and we think it is time to get a divorce.
The biggest challenge in a marriage is the same as in business and in all other relationships. It all ties to communication and expectations. You have to talk and you have to have reasonable communicated expectations.
I don’t know about you, but I can run incredible scenarios in my mind of what I thought my wife was thinking or misinterpret what she said. Often times I can create in my mind a totally different scenario than what reality actually is.
Take time to talk to your spouse. Put away the electronics. Go for a walk if you need to, but get away from the distractions and talk about your relationship.
If you are not sure of the expectation then ask. Like I said earlier you may be thinking something entirely different than what your spouse actually meant.
Never, ever put your spouse down in public. This can be extremely hurtful and does nothing to improve a relationship.
Talk your spouse up in front of others. This has the opposite effect of the previous point.
Treat each other with respect. Respect the other persons opinion even if it is different than yours. Don’t roll your eyes or ignore your spouse.
Go on weekend getaways. Take time to be just the two of you. When you have young children this can be hard, but it is very important for couples to spend time alone together.
“The only way to last forever is to be broken together” —Casting Crowns
